I am sure that I am not the only one that is being affected by the economic descent into the stink hole. For some reason people think that paying their mortgage and feeding their children is more important than squandering conspicuios amounts of cash and credit on shiny stuff. I mean dang, do they think the world is gonna end and the day of judgement is near? What they don’t want to stroll through the pearly gates with too much bling on? Or maybe they beleive that passage in the bible that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get into heaven.
I have had lots of guilt about making jewelry, not so much the inexpensive stuff, but the insanely expensive stuff kinda irks me. It is not envy that they can afford it, so much as disgust as to one’s values.
Example: I got a job to make a hand-fabricated platinum ring for a 6 carat emerald cut diamond, finger size 3. Dang that is a small finger for a woman but I don’t question it. Fast forward a couple of weeks – people come in to pick it up. I am called out to meet them. I give the ring to the woman and look at her hand and think, “No way is that gonna fit.” She calls over her 15 year-old daughter and gives it to her. At first I am thinking she is just showing it to her. Holy crap, it’s for her birthday! They stroked a check for 75 grand and ask me to clean their daughters’ Chopard butterfly watch. God knows what that cost. How much money do you need to have in order for you to be able to give a 15 year-old a 75,000 dollar ring? Oh yea, she wasn’t flippin’ out either. She was too busy messin’ with her phone. Maybe I am lettin’ my Socialist, left-leaning flag fly here, but that is nuts.
I made a pair of wedding rings for a guy with matching 2 carat D flawless diamonds. One for him, one for her. He hammers me mercilessly on price and being that I needed the work, I became his bitch. I made the rings and then he tells me to deliver them to him, he is too busy to pick them up. I get to his house, this is not a house, it is a hotel. Not literally, it is just huge- like 10,000 sq ft. A maid answers the door. I am led to the office were I wait for him. He strolls in and says “Let’s go to the pool so my wife can see them.” They have an indoor pool with a slide!
I now have a rule, if you have an indoor pool you do not get a discount. You get what I call the IPAP charge or the Indoor Pool Ass-Pounding. This means that the price is multiplied by a complex formula which involves not only the size of the pool, but is also based on my attitude at the time, which can vary wildly depending on which left wing blogs and radio stations I have been reading and listening to. Anyway, being that we have kicked in the afterburners and are racing toward economic Sodom and Gomora, I am gonna be able to sit back and relax this Christmas unless someone wants my indoor pool ass-pounding.
kevinpotter
Latest posts by kevinpotter (see all)
- New press accessories - June 6, 2010
- Pancake dies - December 30, 2009
- Ghosts of Christmas Past - December 25, 2009
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
PLEASE write a book! It will sell! You are very funny, in the way of Bill Bryson and David Sedaris.
LOL, yes, I struggle with making jewelery for the mega-elite as well. Actually, after spending my entire childhood 8-18 working in my father’s jewelry store and watching the rich try to get something for nothing, I almost never returned to jewelry.
Now, I tend to think of myself as an artist rather than a jeweler. I have the luxury of refusing to work with diamonds, and I refuse all repair work. So, I just focus on my colored-stone, socialist, artistic jewelry :O)
LOL! IPAP! LOL! Love it! keep ’em, er, coming! LOL!
Not only are you a goldsmith… methinks you are a wordsmith too! I like your story.
By the way…Your Biblical referrences are probably right on cue. This very well may be the end times the Bible prophecies point to!
Love the blogs.
Char
I so look forward to your post, your have a great way with words, always brings a smile !